Tales from the World of Retail

Sunday, July 29, 2007

Why Do You Care What He Thinks?

A husband and wife were looking at a certain item. It came in several different colors. The wife asked her husband, "Which one should I get?"

The husband -- quite understandably -- asked, "For who?" In other words, knowing who the item would be for would influence the color choice.

The wife replied, "For me."

So..... she can't pick out what color she prefers??

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Beverly

I was ringing up an older couple and the man handed me a credit card. I noticed that the name on it was "Beverly". I let him sign the slip (You never know, it might be him; Beverly can be a man's name.) but the signature didn't match the one on the slip.

When I pointed this out, the man handed me his driver's license and said, "We're both on the card."

Well, sir, no, you're not. Only her name was on the credit card. Both your names might be on the account, and you may have a credit card with the same number that has your name on it, but only her name was on that credit card. And if you have a credit card with your name on it, why didn't you use it? And if your wife is standing right next to you, why didn't you let her sign it? And for that matter, why are you carrying around your wife's credit card, anyway?

Luckily the woman was reasonable and she signed the slip without any fuss.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Siblings

There was a young brother and sister in the store. The boy was around seven and the girl was a year or two younger. As they looked at some items in the store, the brother explained the price tags to her: "The big numbers are the dollars and the little numbers are the cents."

He was so adorable!

Friday, July 20, 2007

Dream

I'm starting to worry about my psyche. The other night I had a dream where I was trying to return something to a store. I knew I didn't have the right paperwork, but I really needed to return it. In the dream, I felt horrible for putting the store clerk in and awkward position.

In my dream! I was the customer, but I was sympathizing with the clerk!

I think I need a vacation.

Saturday, July 14, 2007

"Just Point Me in the Right Direction."

I'm starting to get annoyed with people who tell me that.

They come up to me, ask me where something is, and then when I start to lead them to the item, they say, "Just point me in the right direction."

They're probably trying to be nice. But it bugs. Why?

Because if I could "point you in the right direction", I would. Trust me. I do it all the time for things nearby. But for items further away.... Well, our store is rather maze-ish. There aren't aisles and there aren't easy points of reference. The only way to give directions is to use our internal lingo (e.g. "It's in the twenty-six corner, where the ___ used to be.") which would be completely useless to a customer. So I walk them to the item in question.

By the way, I used to work at a bookstore that had clearly labeled aisles. 4B, 22A, etc. If someone asked me for, say, art books, I would tell them the aisle number/section. Half the time they still couldn't find it. Sigh.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

AC

Why yes, I did go into work on my day off just for the air-conditioning. Wouldn't you?

Saturday, July 07, 2007

"Is There a Battery in This?"

As far as I can tell, there's only so many ways to make something light up. Most of the time, there's a battery involved or it's plugged in to an electrical socket. Sometimes things glow in the dark. A few things have solar panels.

One would think it would be easy to tell the difference. Apparently, one would be wrong. Case in point:

Imagine a small pillow. You squeeze the pillow. Inside, a small light bulb begins to flash on and off.

Now, it's clearly not plugged into anything. There are no visible solar panels. It's flashing, not glowing. So, by process of elimination, one should quickly deduct that there's a battery in it. In fact, that's what I assumed the first time I saw it. Granted, I haven't opened it up to find out, but why would I need to? Unless it's magic, there's a battery in it.

And yet, I witnessed a woman pick it up, squeeze it, see the flashing light, and then turn to me and ask, "Is there a battery in this?"

Friday, July 06, 2007

Scary!

me: I think I scare the new clerks.

H-man: Good!

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Should I Apply for Workman's Comp?

The other day I was flipping through our stack of shipping boxes (that is, boxes we've saved to use when we need to ship something) and I realized that there was something sticky on my left hand. I inspected my hand, wondering what kind of sticky substance would be on a shipping box. My hand had a red liquid on it. After a moment, I realized it was blood -- my blood! I must have gotten a paper-cut on one of my boxes without noticing. Oops!