"Oh, That's Not a Debit"

But it says "debit" on the card! If you want me to run it through like a credit card, fine, but say that. Don't tell me that it's not a debit card.

It's Really Hard To Focus on Your Job When:

It's the sixth day in a row you've worked, you're leaving on vacation the next day, and it's the last day you'll be working with your closest work-friend.

Bye, Tofutti Cutie! I'm going to miss working with you, but I'm looking forward to us becoming non-work friends. :)

You Can't Have It Both Ways, Lady!

Today I helped a woman who wanted me to open a box for her so she could see the actual product. I did so, and she liked it.

Then she said: "I want to get that, but I'm going to go get an un-opened box."

My jaw literally dropped.

I understand that some people sometimes want to see the actual product.

I understand that other people want fresh, un-opened boxes.

But you can't have it both ways! If you insist on buying un-fondled products, then you can't fondle them yourself!!

Tag

Two little boys were running around in the store, goofing off. I didn't think too much about it until I heard one of them say to the other, "Let's play tag!"

I said, "Not in the store!" They agreed and ran off.

A customer standing nearby said, "That caught your ear, eh?"

I agreed, "The word 'tag' certainly raised a red flag!"

Weird Questions

Why is it that the people with normal questions ("Do you have _____?") think their questions are weird, but the people with weird questions ("What's the name of the metal-working co-op in your neighborhood?") think their questions are normal?

(P.S. - Metal-working co-op guy got really cranky when I told him I had no idea what he was talking about.)

One More Thing To Hate About Daylight Savings Time

It stays light later, so people don't realize what time it is, so they don't leave the store when they would have normally.

I've been working the same closing shift on Mondays since after Christmas. Usually the store's pretty empty by the time we close. Tonight we had several groups of people wandering around at ten minutes before closing.

Blargh.

Some People Just Don't Plan Ahead...

I watched a couple drag their stroller down a flight of stairs the other day. They looked around briefly, then one said to the other, "This isn't the right section." As they headed back to the staircase, one of them asked the other, "Is there an elevator?"

Names

Working with the public exposes retail workers to all sorts of weirdness. Specifically, the weird things that people name their children. Here's a sample of some of the names that my co-workers and I have heard:

Cedar
Cypress
Dutch
Sequoia
Winter

I am, of course, guessing at the spellings. For more weird names, check out Baby's Name a Bad, Bad Thing.

"I'd Be Happy To Take Your Drink..."

Customer enters store with drink in hand.

me: [cheerfully] I'd be happy to take your drink.

customer: [disappointed] Oh. Really? [resigned] OK.

Customer walks out.

Comic

The Seattle P.I. has started running a comic strip called "Retail" by Norm Feuti. I almost don't want to tell you about it, since it covers the same subject matter as my blog -- but in a much funnier way!

It's so good, though, that I just have to share. Here's a sample from May 9, 2006:





Which reminds of a story I've been meaning to tell: Customers are sometimes surprised (and occasionally annoyed) that I don't remember them. But they should take that as a compliment! I rarely remember the nice customers. The mean/rude/horrible customers are the ones that stick in my mind. I think it's a self-defense thing (i.e. I need to remember who my "enemy" is.) Anyway...

The P.I. posts recent "Retail" strips online.

And this site has an archive that goes all the way back to the first strip.

If this strip ever gets published in book form, I am so going to buy it!

"... I Didn't Even Look at It."

[Alternate title: You gotta wonder why she bothered to come into the store...]


I overheard a woman talking on her cellphone:

"They have that but it's not ___, so I wouldn't get it. They have ___ but I bet it doesn't _____ so I didn't even look at it."

Overheard in the Store...

The other day I heard a wife ask her husband, "Can we get this?"

It sounded very odd to my ears. Why was she asking permission? I can see her asking for an opinion, or giving her opinion, but asking permission? Of her husband? To buy a $10 item for their child??

It made me a little uncomfortable. I would have preferred something like: "I want to get this for Junior." Or, "Let's get this." Or, "I think we should get this."

"Can we" just sounds creepy.

Maybe she doesn't usually talk like that. Maybe she didn't mean it how it sounded. (I hope, I hope!)

Now That's My Kind of Mom!

A kid was running around in the store. He fell on some steps and started crying.

His mom said, "You shouldn't run in the store!"